COMMENTS AND COMPARISONS
I've come to realize over time that I am a bit of a performance freak. I base my self esteem on how others see me and whether I have positive interactions. That's a ridiculous gauge for measuring my self-worth and one I need to do something about! It's time to take a step back and find my sense of self from within rather than from others.One of the things I've noticed as I've been writing this blog is that, although it is primarily a journal to myself, I love that other people read it too. The problem is that I look at other people's blogs and all the hard work they do to increase their audience and their comments section etc and I'm just not that type of blogger.
TRYING TO FIGURE OUT IF I SHOULD HAVE COMMENTS OPEN
I read an interesting post on Rocked by Life on why she turned off her comments section and there were several points that really resonated with me:1. I comment on other people's blogs because I want to encourage them in their writing - I love reading them and seeing what's happening in other people's lives, and I've learned how to leave a thoughtful comment without expecting a comment in return.
2. I don't want my posts to be about numbers - I love seeing how many people visit my page, but I'm happy for that to be my marker, rather than being happy or disappointed if they don't comment.
3. For me the post is about what I want to write, rather than trying to word it to get a few extra comments. If someone is truly moved by what I've said they can always comment on it on my blog's Facebook page or in an email. As Naomi says in her blog:
I want this content to be based on my life, beliefs and experiences. It’s so easy to get sucked into the formula for generating comments. I want it to be authentic, comments or no.
4. Finally, I don't know what I'd do if someone wrote something less than complimentary - it would kill me a little bit inside. So I'm preempting that by just writing and being happy if people stop by and read and then move on to the next blog - there is a lot of great stuff out there and I just want to be part of the online community without being too swamped - sort of an introverted blogger (you'll never find me at a bloggers' conference or any large group gathering for that matter - too scary!)
WHO KNOWS WHAT THE FUTURE HOLDS?
Who knows - maybe I'll get braver as I get better at this whole blogging "thing". Maybe when I'm more confident in what I'm doing I'll turn the comments button on. I'd love to find a tribe of fellow Midlifers who want to engage with me and when that happens I'll press the "On" button and try my luck.UPDATE
After 6 months in the blogosphere I've met some other wonderful bloggers who have encouraged me to be brave and open up more. So, my blog now allows commenting in the new posts - and I'm discovering it's the biggest joy and one I might have missed out on if I hadn't been willing to step out of my comfort zone.So, if you're new to blogging and worried about comments, leave it until you know your way around and then I'd encourage you to let others in and discover the community that's waiting to engage with you.
A FURTHER UPDATE
It's now June 2021 and I've turned the comments off again. After 6 years of blogging, I needed to dial it back a little, get off my laptop, and re-engage in our post-lockdown world. I miss the interaction that commenting brings with it, but at the same time it's been good to step back a little and have some space.
Blogging seems to be slowly slipping away and it's being replaced by vlogs and podcasts - those who comment are often other bloggers, and they're quick to move on if they don't feel obliged to comment anymore. It's been an interesting experiment and who knows what the future holds next?
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